I need you.
Yes you.
I need you to be bringing somethings before the Lord for me. I have some big decisions that are being made right now. And I just need support. Prayer support. I need wisdom and boldness and peace. Oh, how I want peace. Godly peace. And I want to have joy again. To breathe, knowing that every breath is possible because God Himself breathed into the man the "breath of life." And I want sure footing. I guess I thought my house was being built on cement. The contractor called me a few months ago to inform me that there was "a large quantity of sand" found beneath where my house was being built. The cement crumbled away. The house caved in. It's not even lakefront property. WHERE DID THE SAND COME FROM?
I feel like the little child lost in a department store wondering how he got lost. "They were right there a second ago -- I just turned around for a moment to push the 'Try Me' on the cool firetruck with real firetruck sounds and they are gone." Oh the sinking feeling that brings with it. Your heart begins to race. Your head spins. The volume of sounds around you gets turned to it's highest setting. My Papa wants me to learn something from all of this. He is asking me to trust Him.
I have to make a decision on a big issue in my life. It feels like when I most need His voice, He remains silent. But I need to make the decision. Then honor God through it. That is part of what I am learning. God does not always function by telling us to "go here" or "do this." He is smarter than that. You do not learn much from being always told what to do. God waits for my decision and then wants to see how I bring Him glory through it. That is all He cares about. That I bring Him glory! And I want to. I want to so much.
My walk the last few months has been strangled. My joy is hardpressed to be seen. I have pushed some of my best friends away. And I have been left feeling the deepest loneliness I have ever known. There is so much going on inside my head. And my emotions have been similar to a golf ball if I ever attempted to play the sport -- let's just say shouting the word "FORE" in golf was created just for me.
God has so much work to do on me. And I... I... just need to allow the time to allow God to do that work undone in me.
If things go unchanged. I do not know how much longer I can make it.
I am just trying to be real right now. Sorry for all the emotional jibjab.
I just ask that you be praying. Go before our Great God and Father on my behalf. Please. Thank you for reading and listening and praying. I wish I could give you a hug right now... ok, I admit, that was just creepy... :)
Yes you.
I need you to be bringing somethings before the Lord for me. I have some big decisions that are being made right now. And I just need support. Prayer support. I need wisdom and boldness and peace. Oh, how I want peace. Godly peace. And I want to have joy again. To breathe, knowing that every breath is possible because God Himself breathed into the man the "breath of life." And I want sure footing. I guess I thought my house was being built on cement. The contractor called me a few months ago to inform me that there was "a large quantity of sand" found beneath where my house was being built. The cement crumbled away. The house caved in. It's not even lakefront property. WHERE DID THE SAND COME FROM?
I feel like the little child lost in a department store wondering how he got lost. "They were right there a second ago -- I just turned around for a moment to push the 'Try Me' on the cool firetruck with real firetruck sounds and they are gone." Oh the sinking feeling that brings with it. Your heart begins to race. Your head spins. The volume of sounds around you gets turned to it's highest setting. My Papa wants me to learn something from all of this. He is asking me to trust Him.
I have to make a decision on a big issue in my life. It feels like when I most need His voice, He remains silent. But I need to make the decision. Then honor God through it. That is part of what I am learning. God does not always function by telling us to "go here" or "do this." He is smarter than that. You do not learn much from being always told what to do. God waits for my decision and then wants to see how I bring Him glory through it. That is all He cares about. That I bring Him glory! And I want to. I want to so much.
My walk the last few months has been strangled. My joy is hardpressed to be seen. I have pushed some of my best friends away. And I have been left feeling the deepest loneliness I have ever known. There is so much going on inside my head. And my emotions have been similar to a golf ball if I ever attempted to play the sport -- let's just say shouting the word "FORE" in golf was created just for me.
God has so much work to do on me. And I... I... just need to allow the time to allow God to do that work undone in me.
If things go unchanged. I do not know how much longer I can make it.
I am just trying to be real right now. Sorry for all the emotional jibjab.
I just ask that you be praying. Go before our Great God and Father on my behalf. Please. Thank you for reading and listening and praying. I wish I could give you a hug right now... ok, I admit, that was just creepy... :)
