Sunday, November 15, 2009

Volleyballs Do Not Make Good Friends

Today.
I am realizing the need to move forward.
Nobody else can do this for me.
Why would I have ever thought they could?
This is between me and You now.
I suppose it always was.
Papa, it is You. This is all about You. About sifting through endless rooms of junk. Of countless distractions vying for my heart. One part of me wants to go out on my own to seek you in solitude. Another part isn't sure how, but wants to find you while still engaged in every day life. Solitude only goes so far before driving a person mad. I am sure you've seen Tom Hanks and his friend Wilson the Volleyball. Although my carefree imagination as a child afforded me friends with the likes of stuffed animals and hot wheels, each having their own unique personality, I no longer think it wise to make friends with rubber balls.
I guess I need to focus. To focus on each moment I am given. To use each moment purposefully. I need to funnel my energies. To You.
There are many things left unfinished in my life. A messy room only half cleaned is still a messy room. I want to put my hands to good use. To create. To selflessly love. I want to play guitar. To write a song. To write a book, even if it was never published. To carve simple beauty.
Motivation. Devotion. Passion. Genuineness.
Papa, please give me just what I need for the day. This is all I want. I only want what you know I need. Nothing else "does it."
Amen.

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