Monday, October 6, 2008

It Is Well With My Soul(ja Boy) ... and something about invading (aliens)

I have a lot that I could talk about tonight. Many thoughts going through my head.
Question: what is community? Seriously. What is community? What is Biblical community? I went to a dance last Saturday night at Hope College. I didn't really go hoping to find an answer to this question. (It was the most fun I've had in a long time.) Anyway, looking around the room, I began to notice something. Something strange was taking place. All around the room little pockets of people stood together enjoying the simple fact that they were around each other. And these pockets moved together around the room. Maybe for a brief moment they would leave to get a drink or snack and then they would all return together to the dance floor and resume their "bringing sexy back."
I had my own little pocket of people to be with. And yes, we moved around together. And you felt totally comfortable within your pocket to do whatever your body would allow. You were safe. Everyone else around you was moving crazy and perhaps even a "little strange" too. You could be yourself on the floor -- reserved, random, absolutely insane, goofy, weird. It was a place of acceptance. And honestly, who doesn't want a place where they can be accepted for who they are? It was a glimpse into community.
I have many questions regarding what true community is. I have always struggled with understanding community. I have always felt like I was on the outside looking in on experiencing it, genuinely. I do know that there are many parts to it. And the dance helped my mind to grasp a little better this idea of "feeling safe." This is just one part of community. And this part can happen in the secular world, the structured church, and is vital to a healthy gathering of those living in relationship with Christ.
Then tonight... God opened my eyes to another important part of community. The piece the secular world is missing, even the structured church in many respects. Genuineness. In the last few months I have been on a roller coaster ride of feelings: depression, frustration, confusion, and uneasiness. People have started asking questions. They have been intervening. I have seen intentionality. Earnestness. But tonight something about it seemed preplanned, or rather orchestrated. I went to the Gathering at Hope College (a Sunday-night worship service for students at Hope College). It happens every week and I have been attending for almost a year now. After a message and communion, there is always a time of smaller-based, passionate singing. I am standing in a row with two of my students, feeling soul-numb and just not in the mood to sing, when a fellow youth pastor friend of mine, Rob, comes and seeks me out. We're just starting a new song when he purposefully comes and stands by me and grabs me by the arm and back of my head and right there in the middle of the worship begins just praying for me. An intense prayer. A heartfelt prayer. Praying against the worries and burdens. Praying for healing and restoration and joy. I am taken aback. And to make things more interesting, the song now playing is, It Is Well With My Soul, a personal favorite of mine. The words of that song run so deep within me, that it always finds a way to bring my heart to its knees. Having these words ringing out in the background during the prayer with Rob made my spine shiver. Thoughts begin pouring through my head. I feel the straps around my wrists begin loosing. I feel pound after pound of emotional fat begin to melt away. After the prayer, my first thought is: "why don't we feel comfortable being this to each other on Sunday mornings?" Why don't we feel safe (there is that word again) to invade each others lives on a week-by-week basis? For many in churches around the country, you may only get an hour together on Sunday morning. Are we truly living in community with each other for that single hour? Is this even possible? And do we really want to or know how to really be a community of believers? So I challenge you today with this: is weekly "meeting time" church serving to build up a community of believers completely devoted to Christ in their life and in the lives of others around them? If the answer is no. How do we, the Bride of Christ, raise up from the ashes an in-relationship-with-God-centered, safe, genuine fellowship? Read Acts 2:42-47, 4:23-37, 5:12-42. These are just some of the passages that God has used to walk me down the hard road of looking at the way we were "doing" church. Passages that made me question whether we were supposed to be "doing" church at all. No where in the Bible does it ever talk about the once-a-week gathering at a church "facility" where you listen to one person preach a prepared message and sing songs to the music of a prepared worship band or pianist/organist. These are just a portion of my thoughts. But it is late now and I will turn in for the night.
Goodnight.

1 comment:

Felicidad said...

I think I hear what you are saying, Nat. You've talked of "genuineness" and I've been talking of authenticity - keeping it real. Real interactions between Christians and not just participating in someone else's prearranged worship plan. Worship in itself is from the heart and a spontaneous show of love. God created us to worship him - HE didn't need to seek guidance from some order of worship manual. YET, as long as we the community insist on following the constraints of a clock, then some kind of order has to be established. Ok, now I'm rambling. Here's what I'm thinking. I saw a news program that talked of techniques for fighting insomnia. One of the methods was to make it so you couldn't see the clock when you woke up in the middle of the night. The idea is to realize that the night belongs to you and if you wake up, go back to rest - it doesn't matter if there's 14 minutes or 3 hours left before the alarm goes off. The night is yours to rest. OK, with me? Now apply it to worship. Take away the clock constraints. We have agreed to gather to worship. Sing our songs, lead and be led in prayer, pray through scripture together, listen and question and interact with someone of authority in scripture, etc. Go to you drop. Go to your soul is fed. I've been reading the bible this summer and letting the Spirit guide me in my reading. No prayer books, or Bible-in-a-year formats. Nobody telling me where to begin and end. Just me and the Lord. How rejuvenating! I'd love to see worship take a direction of US and the Lord - true Christian community where he is truly present in our midst. That's not saying that all structure is bad - God does have control over our world and HE has his structures in place. I just hope we can see some bending and spontaneity within the structure. A chance to be real/authentic/genuine with one another. God bless, Nat. Your ponderings are a delight...